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Posts Tagged ‘change’

I hear the whispers

Baby I hear them speaking the truth

To fall for you

I’ve heard your words fall from a thousand lips

From faces no longer clear

You can’t have me

Pay no mind to my consent

Pay me no mind

There is nothing good left between

 

Glacier passion devoid

If it makes you less sad

Consider me a broken thing

Beyond emotional recovery

Still fit to ride

Past investment

Holding fast and whittling away

 

When the light falls

And I become a still, solitary shadow

Don’t turn it into something it’s not

You took all I have

Frozen cunt

Disengaged gag reflex

The place where I feel home

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You can take my mind on an adventure

Show it the world, let it sin and stain

Until it becomes static

A head on the shoulders

Of age

Pain

Fearful living and failure of oblivion

It is so easy to remember the sweet

Drowning of the mind

The quiet

Now the volume is a solitary mute

You changed

I did not change

You grew

I grew stunted

And looking into your eyes, I see the climate change

Further away from you

My bruises show

My

Allegiance to the static

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We are the goddess within

Through slightly soiled purified

Anti-bacterial, anti-hysterical, Antichrist laced

Gel packs and wax work smoothness

We, the goddesses walk amongst the mere mortal

Dish soap soaked mere goddess

Embrace the sun

Let the warmth reflect from those gleaming sink taps

Untarnished and never disappointing

No water marks on this old bird

When the world tilted, and tied screaming to metal lifting bars

Chemical induced, intimate nature apprehended my goddess

Tied her into small knots, rivulets of turbulence not nearly strong enough

To save this goddesses mind, which crumbled, like the calorie laden rejoicing

Of binge eating desperation.

Sea side, the now mollified shadow goddess wanders, looming piers, smooth stones

Forgotten virginity discarded, freedom civilized

From breast to cock, swallowing that which sustains position

Swallow, smile, the goddess is sated on pillage

Of insatiable

Desires

Validity

Narcissism

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I lost that little piece of soul that still existed

Between the there and the now

The day that my heart bled for the last time

I cupped my hands

Caught the lions share

Went about my business

There and the now

Being the useless waiting place

Where questions die on the lips

I keep mine hidden

Resignation stifles them behind glass walls

Of camaraderie and acceptance

Resignation keeps the cry from turning into a roar

I am old I realize

The certainty replaced with sagging skin

The determination matched by roots dying with age

Colour fading and care waning

I watch as the march goes on

It’s dwindling numbers eating away at the empty space

My heart died

Jackboot cracking psyche, will and bread at the table

I watch the show

As closely as I watch this rock gathering speed

Level the lives of the people it passes

Falling into this totalitarian path that is being carved

Voices fading, the fight waning, falling from the bones

Cracking like fine china in the squeezing grip

Of frenzied hunger, of entitled certainty, of churlish power

False promises, declarations of care, exclamations of empathy

Fall deaf and flat; my ears are battle scarred from a thousand men’s promises

They spit epitaphs for the disenfranchised, the worn and the hopeful

I catch the light in their eyes, waiting their time, biding their time

To rape, fuck, delve, strain, nail and tear open

Digging deep, drawing blood, opening the old wounds

One man replaces the other, same face, same game, same end

Come, conquer, come again, force you to swallow, and leave

Just another vessel to be left to clean itself up at the bottom of the pile

With every expulsion a past wrong is righted is it not?

A new wrong created for the next man to right

And with each wrong

My soul is further away, a faint line in the distance

Knowing you can never affect change is the quickest death.

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It is three o’clock with wild frozen drops of life

Falling from the trees

I try to control it, to console the rain

The playful sound of you in my rhythm

And I cannot understand how time slipped so quickly

Into memories and reflections on time that escaped

The trap of me

My mind is the closed book

I wanted to be

The road never stops

Lay down beside me

I can’t accept this never slows down

And I can’t stop thinking

The patterns of you frozen over

With time and colour and sanity

I turn my back

Don’t give me hope to hold

I am old and beyond reasons

To be over

To stay in the moment

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We rested out of the shade in the cool air

Empty glass filling the space

That had grown between us

My detachment as clear as the air

Your disdain heavy like pollen

Our pallor weak

Gravity pulling on our thoughts

Your problem was never that you

Didn’t love,

Didn’t feel,

Didn’t want,

Didn’t need

My problem was never that I

Didn’t reflect

Didn’t amend

Didn’t give

Didn’t capitulate

There is no blame to lie

Breathe me in.

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Notch in my bedspot

Hush Down

I carry you around tonight

Those things I never told you

No matter the lonely hope

Nobody to remind us of humanity

Starting small

We might kiss

In that way people kiss whilst awaiting

Hush down

I did it again

Fucking hatred from pore to bone

I can erase you with one more fuck

Your face a memory which each thrust

Your voice a small sound hidden behind unguarded utterances

I carry you around tonight

Starting small

We might kiss

You aggressive, unremitting

Me persuasive, passive

Dispassionate, center focused

There is always time to spend destroying you

This shadow of you that remains

Hush down

I carry you around tonight

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