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We are the goddess within

Through slightly soiled purified

Anti-bacterial, anti-hysterical, Antichrist laced

Gel packs and wax work smoothness

We, the goddesses walk amongst the mere mortal

Dish soap soaked mere goddess

Embrace the sun

Let the warmth reflect from those gleaming sink taps

Untarnished and never disappointing

No water marks on this old bird

When the world tilted, and tied screaming to metal lifting bars

Chemical induced, intimate nature apprehended my goddess

Tied her into small knots, rivulets of turbulence not nearly strong enough

To save this goddesses mind, which crumbled, like the calorie laden rejoicing

Of binge eating desperation.

Sea side, the now mollified shadow goddess wanders, looming piers, smooth stones

Forgotten virginity discarded, freedom civilized

From breast to cock, swallowing that which sustains position

Swallow, smile, the goddess is sated on pillage

Of insatiable

Desires

Validity

Narcissism

This is a story, a pained sigh in the housing of a page.

A hundred pair of rolled eyes have bound this.

Left it sealed as tight as that hidden box of intellect that small girls pack away with the sound of the plastic rustling on their first padded bra.

It’s a stark view, the female mind to the outside

What do you contribute?

Encasing your mind in concrete, lest it be discovered and picked clean.

Ten words

Ten short moments

Ten ways to not be raped

Ten ways not be beaten beyond what you deserve

Ten ways to ensure that you are, after the age of ten, alive, dialled down, functioning and fully integrated.

Fucktoy                                Appreciative                      Pretty                   Muted                  Hesitant                               Chattel                 Accepting                            Sacrificing                            Forgiving                                                              Capitulating

From pigtails to rohypnol

This is the story of ten words to help you navigate, to fly under the dominating radar

To be the girl that is to be owned with a veil and a hymen intact, or at the very least a count under seven of previous owners.

A tale of ten small words to keep you small

To differentiate between Dolly and Doxie

Ho’ and Her.

Ten words preferable being fucked up the ass in an alleyway by a faceless stranger because he can and you can’t do a single thing to prevent it because you lost your way.

Distracted amongst the millions of words in the English language.

One Casualty

You, I, there is no feelings here

You are built on a construct of lies and invention

I, have no capacity for warmth

Once upon a time I was punished with some extremely bad prose

Rhyming out my failings at great length

I am sure you can improve on this auto-biographic nightmare of confusion

And twisted pride than you are subjecting me to.

After all, I didn’t pluck you out of the crowd for your looks

Or Prize winning personality

It may not have been for your breath-taking intellect

But yet… I hold out hope that you can do more than

Lament and attract flies

Throw and crush and maul

Am I the only place you can relieve your pain

I know your taste, I can’t supply this fix

You can buckle down this cunt and rip and envy

I met you, this mess I bring

You have an impossible dream that I will feel

Your slamming door being the moment of realisation

They leave the same way, unwitting, controlled

Don’t change, I have been here all these years

Someday

I once wrote the most perfect words

On paper, using a list of serious and well-meant memorials

To those few people who were on the peripheral

I sucked down the various, easily accommodated lies

With a final hoorah of golden sour mash bourbon

I lay my head back, waited for the calm

I woke, capitulating to the narcissistic, the encouraging and the masturbatory

Fantasists, white coats hiding those turgid offerings

I flexed and cried at the correct times, I flexed and felt reality chafe

Ate the burnt offerings of positivity, hope, reassurance

Concealed the letter, soured and sullen

It never takes too long

For me to arrive back here until I am gone

Affirmations failing, I burrow while you congratulate

I live on my knees

Doe eyes, hidden gag reflex

Dulled wit and burnt out

I am so thoroughly sealed into this tomb

The air has no escape

I know the score

It’s so cold in here

I want to take you, cry and love

Only pain makes sense

And good timing

I want to take you out

Of the equation

It is a crime

The waste I leave you out in

I lost that little piece of soul that still existed

Between the there and the now

The day that my heart bled for the last time

I cupped my hands

Caught the lions share

Went about my business

There and the now

Being the useless waiting place

Where questions die on the lips

I keep mine hidden

Resignation stifles them behind glass walls

Of camaraderie and acceptance

Resignation keeps the cry from turning into a roar

I am old I realize

The certainty replaced with sagging skin

The determination matched by roots dying with age

Colour fading and care waning

I watch as the march goes on

It’s dwindling numbers eating away at the empty space

My heart died

Jackboot cracking psyche, will and bread at the table

I watch the show

As closely as I watch this rock gathering speed

Level the lives of the people it passes

Falling into this totalitarian path that is being carved

Voices fading, the fight waning, falling from the bones

Cracking like fine china in the squeezing grip

Of frenzied hunger, of entitled certainty, of churlish power

False promises, declarations of care, exclamations of empathy

Fall deaf and flat; my ears are battle scarred from a thousand men’s promises

They spit epitaphs for the disenfranchised, the worn and the hopeful

I catch the light in their eyes, waiting their time, biding their time

To rape, fuck, delve, strain, nail and tear open

Digging deep, drawing blood, opening the old wounds

One man replaces the other, same face, same game, same end

Come, conquer, come again, force you to swallow, and leave

Just another vessel to be left to clean itself up at the bottom of the pile

With every expulsion a past wrong is righted is it not?

A new wrong created for the next man to right

And with each wrong

My soul is further away, a faint line in the distance

Knowing you can never affect change is the quickest death.

Avert your eyes

Pretend you don’t see

That I am a love poet

I never meant to let you down

I lied

Indulged and fattened with the spite

Dusk and moss covering the cracks

But I don’t want to change

This secret love poet part

That sits patiently waiting for

A long, soothing note

I never meant to let you down

I never mean to let you down

But I breathe for the moments

Those moments of crawling shame

The danger zone of flickered interest

The anticipation of following the hunger

And swallowing the lies

I can wait

I can wait

You don’t know this about me

But my clichéd lines of disinterest are

Hope, embraced, given and scattered

You see my love has eyes

That see through the cynical me to the cynical you

Don’t give me wise words and realistic moments

I am a love poet

Your reasons are another line

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